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A Therapist's Advice on Life's Milestones and Crises
Published in  
Buzz
 on  
September 15, 2023

A Therapist's Advice on Life's Milestones and Crises

In this recurring series we dive into the problems of the Badass community and get advice from a therapist.

Midlife and quarter-life crises are pivotal periods in many people's lives. The quarter-life crisis typically occurs in one's 20s, marked by uncertainty, career doubts, and existential questioning. Young adults often grapple with the transition from education to the workforce, leading to anxiety about life choices.

In contrast, midlife crisis usually strikes around the age of 40-50, characterized by a profound reassessment of one's life. People may experience dissatisfaction with their accomplishments, leading to radical lifestyle changes. Both crises share common themes: a quest for meaning, evaluation of personal goals, and the fear of missed opportunities.

These crises, while challenging, can be transformative. They push individuals to explore new paths, fostering personal growth and self-discovery. Embracing change and seeking support can help navigate these tumultuous times.

1. I think I am experiencing a midlife crisis. I am in my mid 40s and having a tough time with the big questions in life like what’s the purpose of me being here. I think I lack focussed purpose and motivation. The feeling that I’ve already peaked and that now I must just live out the ‘falling action’ part of my life.

I understand that reaching your mid-40s can trigger deep contemplation about life's purpose and meaning. It's entirely natural to go through a period of self-reflection and questioning during this stage. As a psychologist, I want to reassure you that this is a valuable and transformative process.

The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." Your quest for purpose is a fundamental part of the human experience. It's an opportunity to reevaluate your goals, passions, and values. Remember, life is a journey with multiple chapters, and it's never too late to redefine your purpose.

In Joseph Campbell's words, "Follow your bliss." This means pursuing what truly fulfills you. It's not about peaking early or living out a "falling action." Instead, it's about discovering new passions, setting meaningful goals, and finding joy in the present moment.

Consider seeking support from a therapist or life coach who can guide you through this process of self-discovery. Together, you can explore your passions and motivations, helping you chart a course toward a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Your journey is far from over; it's a new chapter filled with opportunities for growth and happiness.

2. Quarter life crises seem to have become a thing recently and I’m pretty sure I’m smack dab in the middle of one myself. Everything in my life seems to be ending with a question mark at the moment. I don’t know how to ‘adult’, I’m still undecided on a career path, my love life is a sad little sub-plot and I know I’m neglecting my wellbeing and mental health. I just don’t know how to move forward, where do I start?

It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed by the uncertainties of emerging adulthood, which often accompanies what's commonly referred to as a "quarter-life crisis." This transitional phase is a crucial part of your journey toward independence and self-discovery. Let's break down some actionable steps to help you find clarity and move forward:

1. Self-Exploration: Start by reflecting on your values, interests, and passions. What truly excites you? What are your strengths and weaknesses? This self-awareness can guide your career choices and personal life.

2. Career Exploration: Consider internships, volunteer work, or part-time jobs related to your potential career interests. These experiences can provide valuable insights and help you make informed decisions.

3. Mental Health and Wellbeing: Prioritize your mental and physical health. Establish a daily routine that includes exercise, mindfulness, and adequate sleep. If needed, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.

4. Life Goals: Set both short-term and long-term goals. Break them down into manageable steps to make progress feel achievable.

5. Networking: Connect with peers and mentors who can offer guidance and support. Networking can open doors to career opportunities and personal growth.

6. Education: If you're undecided about your career, consider further education or skill-building courses. Lifelong learning can enhance your confidence and versatility.

7. Seek Guidance: Talk to a career counselor or life coach. They can provide personalized advice and help you navigate your path.

Remember, emerging adulthood is a period of exploration and growth. Embrace the uncertainty as an opportunity to learn and evolve. The journey may be challenging, but it's also filled with exciting possibilities. As you gain clarity about your values and aspirations, you'll gradually find your way toward a fulfilling life path.


To learn more go to www.tanyamaliktherapy.com

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