Fuckboys – they’re everywhere. They’re in our DMs, heart-emoji reacting to our thirst traps on Instagram. They’re in our messages, sending us ‘u up?’ messages at midnight. They’re the ones you’ll find running far far away when you use the dreaded c-word: commitment. But spotting them accurately can sometimes be tough.
Whether or not you're serious about him, a fuckboy can make you feel less valued and more used. You won’t always be able to spot one, because they’ve evolved with time. They’ve learnt how to mask their commitment phobia with ‘I’m not ready for a relationship right now’, and a ‘I just got my heart broken so I’m not looking for anything serious’. But they’re always ready to get into your pants. So you’ve got to be vigilant.
Is the guy you’re seeing one of the good ones, or a total fuckboy? If you’re having trouble with this, we’re here to help. Take this quick quiz to find out! Just pick an option between a,b, and c for each question and remember what you picked. The results are right at the end.
Quiz: Are you dating a fuckboy?
1. What are you most likely to do when you guys are hanging out?
a. A movie, the arcade, a concert – it’s new every time!
b. We grab a cup of coffee or dinner and chill at home.
c. We usually meet over at his place for a drink and…get busy.
2. Do you keep in touch and talk regularly?
a. Yeah, we text and talk pretty often.
b. Does sharing memes incessantly on Insta count?
c. We usually just talk before we’re set to meet.
3. Which one of you makes plans most often?
a. Sometimes it’s him, other times it’s me. It’s pretty mutual.
b. I make plans more often. But when he does, they’re elaborate.
c. He does, because he’s usually busy when I ask to meet.
4. Has he introduced you to his friends/colleagues?
a. Yes, I’ve met a couple/most of them. They made me understand him better.
b. He talks about them a lot, I guess I’ll meet them someday.
c. Not really. He doesn’t talk about his circle that much.
5. How do your girlfriends feel about this guy?
a. They don’t see red flags, so I guess it’s a good sign?
b. They prefer to keep their interactions minimal with him.
c. They don’t particularly like him, but that’s because they don’t know him.
6. Say you want to plan a weekend getaway. How would he react to it?
a. He’d definitely be interested in it.
b. He’d be in, but he would probably want to make a shorter trip.
c. He’s too busy for a getaway, tbh.
7. Have you ever hung out during the day?
a. Of course we have.
b. We do, occasionally.
c. Coincidentally, we’ve only met in the evenings or at night. Why do you ask?
Mostly ‘a’ – You have nothing to worry about, sis!
You seem to have gotten yourself a good man! Making real, meaningful plans, showing up for them, introducing you to his inner circle – you’re in. Men who are vocal about what they want and show you how they feel are most likely unafraid of commitment, which is a great thing for you.
If you both like where this is headed, you have nothing to worry about.
Mostly ‘b’ – He’s somewhere in the middle…
It seems that he’s interested in your company. Considering the effort he makes every now and then, there’s something about you that makes him want to come back. But there’s also a chance that he’s stringing you along till he finds someone better. Men who are afraid of commitment often do that.
This in no way means that you should stick around to ‘fix’ him. He isn’t a tap, sis. He’s a grown-ass adult.
If you think that this guy is worth hanging out with because there’s friend potential, voice it out. Tell him how you feel. If he still makes you believe he’s interested in you romantically (or sexually) and you see no change in his behaviour – run.
Mostly ‘c’ – Sis, this guy has ‘fuckboy’ written all over him.
We’re giving it to you straight: he ain’t it. From the looks of it, he seems to be interested only under certain conditions. If his ‘plans’ are basically a ‘wanna hang out’ text that he conveniently sends you after 11 pm, you don’t have much of a thing going on here. He’s pretty much controlling this entire interaction – not making concrete plans, not bothering to travel beyond a 5 km radius, and indulging in meaningless conversations. This isn’t a relationship, it’s a transaction.
If you’ve decided to stick around because you’re just having some fun, continue on. But don’t expect him to bring you flowers on Valentine’s Day – we’re pretty sure he’s going to be ‘busy’ that day too.