The world is taking a step away from monogamous heteronormative relationships and switching to other alternative relationships that tend to one’s physical, mental, emotional and financial needs. Sugar relationships are a common phenomenon in the current age, but what do we know about a sugar mommy?

What is a sugar mommy?

A "sugar mommy" is a term used to describe a wealthy, older woman who financially supports a younger romantic or platonic partner, often referred to as a "sugar baby." Similar to a sugar daddy, the term sugar mommy highlights the unequal power dynamics and financial dependency within the relationship. The term is often used in the context of sugar dating, which involves exchanging companionship and intimacy for money or gifts but is not limited to that alone.  While some people view sugar dating as a consensual arrangement between adults, others criticise it as a form of exploitation. 

According to a survey done by YouGov, mostly millennials are aware of sugaring and participate in one of these arrangements. 8% of those 18-34 are currently a sugar baby, sugar momma, or sugar daddy. 6% of American men currently act as a sugar daddy or sugar baby, in comparison to 3% of women working as a sugar baby or mama. Similarly, 11% of men know someone participating in sugaring, but only 6% of women do. 

What can happen if things go wrong?

Some believe that being a sugar mommy reinforces gender stereotypes, unequal power dynamics, and can undermine the agency of the sugar baby, who may feel pressured to engage in sexual activities. While others point how sugar relationships can be tough for vulnerable women, as they may be exploited or manipulated for financial or sexual gain. Scammers and fraudsters may also target them due to their wealth and generosity, reinforcing gender stereotypes and unequal power dynamics.

But is being a sugar mommy anti-feminist?

Not completely. While there are valid concerns about the potential drawbacks of sugar relationships, some women may find empowerment in being a sugar mommy. For some, it provides financial independence and control, while for others it can be a way of breaking traditional gender norms and expectations. Being a sugar mommy can often be seen as equating a woman with a powerful rich man in a society and that can provide a confidence boost for some women as well.

How to ensure safety and privacy?

Sugar relationships can be a complex and potentially risky endeavour. But don’t you worry, we have you covered. It is important to know what you are getting into before diving in headfirst. These are thing you can do to ensure that the relationship is safe and private:

1. Choose a reputable platform: Use a reputable sugar dating platform that has good reviews and safeguards in place to protect your privacy.
2. Set boundaries: Be clear about your expectations and boundaries from the outset. Make sure that you both have a mutual understanding of what is expected in the relationship.
3. Take it slow: Take the time to get to know your potential partner before meeting them in person. This will give you a chance to assess their character and ensure that they are who they say they are. It is absolutely pertinent to ensure safety before meeting someone who is statistically more inclined to exploit you for favours.
4. Be cautious with finances: Never give out your bank account information or other financial details to someone you don't know well. Use a secure payment platform to handle financial transactions and keep a track of every transaction you have made. 

While a sugar mommy does definitely topple the power dynamics working within a relationship, she is also always prone to more risk as a woman than a sugar daddy. Whether it’s a strict barter that hypothetically equates sex in exchange for fancy tokens of appreciation or be it an emotional entanglement with a sprinkle of caviar and Hermes, ultimately women should be free to make their own choices about their relationships.

‍

References 

1. YouGov
2. Carlson
3. NCBI